Simeon's Premium Deluxe Repo Work

Predatory pricing is an ugly business, my friend. You take your eye off your competitors for a moment, and they flood the market with imports. Now we must give the law of supply and demand a little assistance, yes? Go to their warehouse and remind them how market competition works in the land of the free. Destroy every last car.

My people have a saying. If you want to kill a lot of birds, bring a big stone. Don't worry, I will explain. I have some clients and competitors who have tried my patience for too long - these are my birds. And the new delivery of monster trucks for Arena Wars - these are my stone. I just need someone to throw it.

Consider this. An associate of mine liberates some beautiful cars from unsuitable owners and opens them up to the glories of the free market. What do the police call this shining example of economic innovation? A felony. And now, to add insult to incarceration, the police do the same thing in return - and they call it an 'auction of impounded goods'. Well, you for one will not stand for this hypocrisy. Raid the impound yard, retrieve the cars, and bring them to my garage at the docks.

Sometimes I walk through Rockford Hills just to remind myself the American dream is still alive and well. And sometimes, behind the armored gates, I happen to see some very beautiful cars outside some very empty second mansions. An unscrupulous person could airlift them right out without triggering the alarm. Myself, I am a scrupulous person. This is why I have come to you.

You know what a real man of people businessman is? In his heart of hearts? A problem solver. For example, I have a client with a very specific wish list. No problem - but he can only leave international waters for so long. At short notice, I must resort to some assertive repossession techniques. And this, my friend, is where you come in. I tell you which cars, tell you where they are, and you don't tell me what you had to do to acquire them.

I am a man with his finger up the pulse. So, when a limited edition MTL Brickade RV goes missing during transit to Los Santos, I hear about it. And when a filthy little tin can dealership in Sandy Shores mysteriously acquires just such an RV, I hear about this too. Well, Simeon Yetarian does not turn a blind eye to such impertinence. Go there, liberate this beautiful vehicle, and together we shall give it the owner it deserves.

Here is something I have learned. In this town, the fire department are just cops in different colored trucks. They put out the fire in your showroom on Monday, I guarantee the feds show up on Tuesday. So right now, when my latest shipment is going up in smoke thanks to the petty vindictiveness of my competition, I have nowhere to turn except you. I need you to deal with this, fast.

Let me tell you a story. A local international businessman once sold some very expensive cars to a foreign buyer - off the books, of course. The cars were leaving town in the back of a privately chartered cargo plane, when a totally unconnected third party intercepted the shipment. After a discreet interval, they sold them back to the businessman for a small profit. A beautiful story, no? I have told it many times, and the cars never change...