Simeon's Missions

I have a repossession for you. The owner of a beauty salon on Carson Avenue took a hot pink Zion from me. A nice car, too nice for the owner of a money laundering operation - these tax cheats make me sick. It's parked in the back lot, get it and bring it to the dealership.

Aha - I just passed the Rockford Hotel and saw one of our premium deluxe top of the line lifestyle-enhancing motor vehicles. It is clearly not being looked after and I need you to repossess it right now. Hotel security will be a pain but I am sure you will manage.

If the financial crisis taught us anything, it's that the wealthy have as much trouble with the credit as the poor do. A man in Richman took two expensive cars from me, and now you must repossess them, and bring them to the showroom. You may need some help with this, I think he has security.

You know me, my friend, I am a philanthropist at heart. Maybe I shouldn't have given credit to a young entrepreneur with all the rumors of his involvement in the drug trade, but I want to see the best in people and support new business. Can you please collect the black Coquette he took, and bring it back to the showroom. And try not to scratch, okay.

I have been robbed my friend! Robbed! Me - a pillar of the communtiy. A friend for the friendless, creditor to the creditless! They took a blue Jackal and a beautiful yellow Coquette from our garage at the docks. Go and get them back from me! I am feeling faint and must lie down.

I am a good man, yes? I provide a valuable service to the poor and weak in this city? I give credit to the needy, and hope to the hopeless. To carry on this important noble work I need more cars. I cannot afford to buy them, but there are rich fools at Gentry Manor who can be robbed for the greater good. Please bring some of their deluxe cars back to the showroom for me.

What are we teaching our children? Swag - you know what that means. All they value are fast cars, and nice shoes, but they will not work hard for it. Take this repossession, a tricked out silver Baller in a low income area. Swagging indeed. It makes me sad but you need to collect and bring it back here. Until society changes, we cannot.

These Hispanics gangsters, always strutting. Have you noticed this? I gave a man from El Burro Heights credit for a manly car, an orange Dominator, but his credit history is anything but manly, so I feel we should take it back. This is gang territory, but you are tough yes? You can handle this? Good.

There is a dealership down by Davis. They're offering reasonable finance plans, and generous repayment schedules, and encourage their customers to choose vehicles they can afford! Do you believe this? We cannot stand for it. Go over there and destroy their cars. When you come back to my showroom, I will reward you on behalf of the community.

Quick, quick, I need your help. These idiots emailed me a list of cars, and where they're parked. It's the mother lode! Top drawer premium stuff! Get them all before they figure out what happened, and I'll pay you a fraction of what they're worth. The boat will be leaving soon so hurry!

I've been robbed! Again! This is what happens when you try to help a community, giving credit to losers and wastrels, helping them to have a taste of American Dream and then repossessing it from under them. They took my brand new yellow Tornado and they're parading it down Grove Street. Please get it and bring it back to the showroom.

I am not a vindictive man. The work I do is practically charity. The only thing that angers me is when people try to stop me helping. Like this club owner who takes me to court over a yellow Banshee. Please teach him a lesson, get it from his lot in Downtown Vinewood, and destroy all the other cars there. We must stand up to the bullies.

This is a disaster! Another dealership is set to open with low interest financing and income-appropriate credit limits. People living within their means makes me sick, friend, you know this. Please go to the terminal and destroy all the cars they're importing. Come back to the dealership and I will reward you for this important work. They must be stopped!

The great businessman of our time have the ability to sell you what you do not need. You like to walk? I'll sell you a car? You have a car? I sell you one in a stupid color with a spoiler. Next, a motorbike. No one needs a supercharged ATV, so I hope to sell them in the thousands. But first I need you to get me some that are being raced near Raton Canyon. Bring the full set to Paleto Cove and I'll pay handsomely.