Time Trials

From its pristine beaches to its evaporating lakes, San Andreas takes water quality (if not quantity) seriously. See an epidemic waiting to happen on this time trial from the pier to the reservoir.

Complex time trial that takes you from the glamorous peaks of the Vinewood Hills to the grimey troughs of the Grapeseed shoreline. Sober up fast - there's no easy route.

For once, let a low-T CEO on his daily commute scream at you instead of his executive assistant. Time trial our of LS along the one-percent-crammed Great Ocean Highway.

Short, technical time trial up to the most picturesque suicide spot in the county. Be a statistic that matters.

Mix a large cocktail of Junk Energy Drink and amphetamines because this is going to be a long drive: epic time trial along the length of the Golden State.

Follow in the panicked footsteps of deserters, waterboarded detainees, and peace protesters who didn't think the wars would go on this long. Pacey time trial away from Fort Zancudo towards the city lights.

On a rainy day a human body can float the length of the LS Storm Drain in just 12 minutes. Get up close to the Los Santos circle of life with this not-so-simple time trial: precision is your only chance.

This time trial on one of Mount Chiliad's most perilous faces is a golden opportunity for show-offs and reconstructive surgeons alike. Remember to book a bed at Mount Zonah Medical Center before you set off.

The death of American industry hasn't just provided rusty subject matter for your Snapmatic albums, it's created lots of edgy, supercar-friendly racetracks. Time trial from the sawmill to Davis Quartz.

From the old economy to the new - escape the industrial wastes of south LS with this time trial out to turbine-covered hills, where global warming's being delayed one sliced up bird at a time.

Get a beach body the American way. Eat a four pound, microwave-fresh burger then hit a time trial from Up-n-Atom to North Chumash. Just hope catastrophic heart failure doesn't hit you 'til next year.

Like every great American city, driving across Los Santos is a matter of one long, straight road, fender-deep in mangled pedestrians. Breakneck time trial from the Maze Bank Arena to the Sisyphus Theatre.

Canoeists, hikers and eco-fascists have had dibs on the only breathable parts of San Andreas for too long. Strike back for fossil fuel enthusiasts with this short time trial through Tongva Valley.

Use highways or head for the hills. Update Lifeinvader or watch the road. Shout at your kids in the back or crack one off to the fragance billboards. Welcome to a cross-state time trial in the land of the free.

Start your day like a pro: play 8 hours of Casino blackjack with your remortgager and divorce attorney, then wash it all down with a time trial through North LS to a Vinewood Hills mansion you'll never own.

Time trial along the classic route that has inspired generations of poets, pilgrims, rednecks and sex offenders with its connection remoteness and absence of meaningful law enforcement.

Like a driver for a ride share company whose lawyers insist they are definitely not employees, get across the whole city from LSIA like your star rating, future income, and whole self-worth depended on it.

Like every post-hipster tourist with a camera phone, take a tour of crushed dreams in the Alamo Sea and think about what filter best captures the sadness. Time trial for the Snapmatic generation.

Nothing violates the tranquility of green hills or lonely desert roads as efficiently as competitive motorsport. Kill two birds with one time trial all the way from the Vinewood Bowl to Paleto Cove.

From the Palmer-Taylor Power Station to the suburbs of LS, this is a time trial for anyone who's taken a big lungful of Los Santos smog and thought "couldn't this air be just a little bit more polluted".

Like a wild-eyed junior exec trying to impress on an extreme-sports team builder, risk soiling yourself all the way along the Raton Canyon rapids. Time trial from the Pacific shoreline to the Alamo Sea.

Brutal time trial down the slopes of Mt. Chiliad: if you're going slower than a freefall, you're probably a coward.

There will come a day when you need to get the hell out of town and lose yourself in the Palomino Highlands for a while. And on that day every practice run is going to count.

Social mobility, Los Santos style: how fast can you get an SUV across the Vinewood Hills to the new installation at the Kortz Center?

Stick a turbo charger under the hood of the American dream, and see how long it takes you to make it from Stab City to the Vinewood Hills.

It's a young professional rite of passage: leave work, and get from the Vinewood Hills to the beach at Chumash fast enough to catch the sunset and bask in the illusion of a meaningful existence.

You can go a long way real fast coming out of this neighborhood...

Los Santos loves a social climber: in this case, off the tarmac at LSIA to the highest point in Galileo Park in less time than it takes to buy your degree online.

The fastest route from the ICU to the Hill Valley Cemetery has been a point of long-standing debate among the emergency services of Los Santos. Time to settle it once and for all.

A breakneck tour of the most polluted docks, marinas, canals and rivers in the state, finishing with some almost certainly toxic candy floss at the pier.

If you want to stay under the radar coming into Fort Zancudo this hot, you better be prepared to take it off road.

We're all in the gutter, but some of us are getting a PB en route to the stars...